So i can't find my swipe card... and i came to the basement of my dorm to use the computer lab to buy my text books... and i got here like at 1:30am and now it's 7:30am... I spent the whole night here because I didn't have my card to swipe it and to open the door... so i got locked in. So i used the internet the whole night pretty much. I wanna cry... *sniffles*
So I am still here in California...?!?!? Gosh. I should be on a plane right now heading over to Pennsylvania and then get on another plane which would take both April and I to Hartford, Connecticut. But nooooo... huge snow storm and so my flight got CANCELED.
Oh my gosh. I cried. I mean don't get me wrong. When April txt messaged me telling me "Canceled" I was just like "YES! FUCkin cooL! Titeness!" At that moment I was at my grandmas house because my family planned a get together just for me.
I called April and she let me know that she was on hold... trying to reschedule her flight. I was on the phone waiting for like 75ish minutes until finally someone talked to me and the lady let me know that the earliest I could leave was Monday at 11:20am... :( yeah. Bummer. This SUCKS. I don't like Mount Holyoke. I have waited around for 7 fuckin months for this moment and now I don't even get to go to my fuckin orientation.
Argh. I’ve stopped crying a while ago... I should just go to sleep. Good Night.
I haven't updated in a couple of days... or rather, I have updated just that the entry was kept private. didn't want some people to read it, except those on my friends list.
Anyhow, my grandma got a heart attack yesterday. I was on the phone with jackie while i was at my moms beauty salon when another call came in. it was my uncle berny asking me where my dad was. he simply said it was an emergency. It wasn't until my aunt yoly called the salon and told me "take care of your dad, he just passed by crying and not able to breathe nor speak." That's when all of a sudden he was standing right infront of me *i was in the facial room in the back of the salon* He looked really bad. I told my aunt that he was there and that i was going to let her go. He then tried talking to my mother but she was washing some chicks hair... and he just said "thank you for your compassion Vilma... thanks a lot." and started to walk out of the salon. i ran after him and pulled him near me. he started to cry. i held my father so close and so tight. he looked like a child dammit. i started to cry. told him i loved him and stuff. i didn't want to let him go because although a great driver, i was afraid that he wasn't in the right state of mind to be driving. he left though.
i got to see my grandma today though. im glad to say that she looks good. yeah... she's sick... but she's alive and im so happy over it. i just came back from seeing her actually... it was rather odd. i didn't want to see Maribel nor my aunt Haydee... because of the whole ordeal that happened with the tongue ring. My cousin Maribel wanting me to take her, me ratting her out, etc etc... *sighs* i just didn't want to see them... so i acted mighty cold should i say.
WHen my dad walked out of the salon yesterday though, i thought about many things. i cried. i cried because i couldn't believe how selfish i am. to think that i am going to college out of state and leave me family behind. as the oldest sister i should know better. i keep the family together... i was selfish for once though, and now, im left with nothing but guilt. also... every time i walk home from school i say to myself "wow... she just lives down this street, i should go visit her." but instead i just turn left on Freeman Avenue and continue down until i hit 106th Street... my street. She lives 5 fucking minutes away from me on FOOT!!! and do i make an attempt to see her? no. im a fuckin disgrace. NOnetheless, it felt great having Lizzy and Jasmin by my side. They kept me strong throughout the day. Only them. I love Jasmin so much and im sure she knows that, and lizzy too.
I really want to go to the momo tomorrow. primarily because if i do i will get to see Jackie and all my friends. I really want to see Alan too, and Ivan Rodriguez. It felt great being able to talk to him... i am so in tune with him. it's not even funny. Im out though. See y'all later! Veronica